Writing

This is my first and last entry in 2018. I apologize if the languages are mixed. I am also sorry if this is a mess.

I lost my interest in writing publicly long ago, back in 2012. As I mentioned in my first post, I used to have a blog, a rich one, because back then I could produce a minimum of two to three posts a month. Wow, what a slacker I am now compared to how I was in high school. But due to personal reasons, which I am not eager to tell why, I shut my blog down.

I restarted blogging last year. But as you can see, I could only write two entries for the entire year. I just did not know what to write. No inspiration whatsoever. Jumping to the first few months of this year, someone told me that he had read my blog and he suggested me to write regularly, to make use of my writings. At that time my response was just a pathetic “Gak bisa…” I have not even tried and I already said “I can’t”. Sick, but it was true. I could not write, except for the academic or work purposes, of course.

But something amazing, and peculiar, happened. For the past few months, inspirations and insights have been flourishing my mind. Even at random times (in the middle of a meeting, for example) where I did not intend to write at all, words and sentences were forming in my head and all I could think was “I need to write this down, quick!”. I have written several pieces, on my book, my laptop, or my phone. Many were kept to myself, and some were shared only with my closest ones (shout out to all of you, thanks for bearing with me!).

And then it hit me. The reason of all those “I can’t write anymore”, is because I always associated writing with writing for other people, for others to read, when actually it does not have to? Just because I think my opinion will not matter to anyone, that does not mean I must diminish all the ideas I have in my head and refuse to write it down. I also realized that writing helps me, a lot. Being able to pour my thoughts into words is one of the most satisfying things in life.

The thing that held me back six years ago in continuing my blog, is kind of still holding me back now. But I have promised myself, that if any idea ever comes out, I will write it down, even though no one will, or can, read it. And I hope this will also lead me to produce more entries on my current blog. Here’s to a more creative 2019!